To preface my comments: I am very excited about my new job teaching middle and high school music. I love what I do, and I do not have any regrets about choosing this career path.
Have you ever been on the verge of starting something, and then suddenly had the feeling that you are unprepared for the task? Kind of like your brain realizes at the last minute that you are scared and tries to talk you out of it by making you feel overwhelmed? That’s the stage I’m at in my preparations to begin teaching.
It’s especially hard just starting out, I have no idea how things are going to go because I have never tried some things out. It’s kind of cool, because I’m not cynical or jaded, but I may also be a bit naive. That’s what scares me the most, that maybe I am overestimating myself or my students.
Frankly it’s really just a stupid conversation that my brain refuses to quit. I can’t know what’s going to happen until I get there, and when that happens I will deal with it. I guess I just need to remember that I am skilled and trained to do what I do, and nobody is going to to my job in my situation any better than I will. Hopefully that will allow me to get some sleep.